- I can't come right now.
- The houses, the stores are all empty.
We got our pick. You pick that.
Yeah.
Some partner I got. Have fun.
How's it going, boys?
Who's that?
Bugsy.
I hear you guys are in business
for yourselves now.
I hear youse are doing real good.
Ain't you gonna introduce me
to your friend here?
I'll introduce myself.
Excuse the glove.
Son of a bitch!
That's my cut.
You don't work for me,
you don't work for no one.
I don't like bosses.
You was better off
you stayed in the Bronx.
It would have been better for you too.
- I'm gonna kill him one of these days.
- Yeah?
Meantime it looks like he's killed us.
Deborah, open up the door.
Deborah, open up the door.
Deborah.
- That stuff, is it ready?
- We're loading it.
- Che cazzo succede down here?
- AI, we got the big boys with us today.
- They wanna work for us.
- Doing what Bugsy did. We want his job.
Do you get that?
We the best escorts you ever gonna get.
A fangulo a ma, escort your
mother's ass out of here.
Okay. Let's go, Noodles. We'll peddle
your invention somewhere else.
Hey, wait a minute.
What invention?
- You ship your stuff by the river, right?
- Sometimes.
And when you get caught,
you throw the cases overboard.
- You lose the whole shipment.
- So?
For percent,
we'll save it all for you.
- What do you got, a submarine?
- We got salt.
You got what?
- Me and the boys are rolling salts.
- We need tons of salt per shipment.
Get the fuck out of here.
Go back to school where you belong.
What is it with all this salt?
Hey, hey, we got salt on our noodles.
Show 'em.
This is full of salt.
All right, come here.
- So?
- Keep your shirt on.
We gotta wait for the salt
to dissolve.
- Well?
- Hey, what's wrong?
Hey, look.
Wow!
Great!
- Look at that!
- It's great.
- Noodles.
- Look.
- I see 'em! What did I tell you?
- Yeah.
Yeah!
- Hooray.
- Hooray for us!
We did it.
Come here, Max.
- We did it.
- No, Max, no!
Max.
Max.
Max!
Max!
What would you do without me?
There.
From here on, we establish the
shared funds of the gang.
They belong to all of us together
and to none of us alone.
And we solemnly swear to put in
percent of everything we make. Agreed?
Agreed.
- Agreed.
- Agreed.
Agreed.
I wanna take another peek.
Announcing the departure of...
...the Lackawanna Railroad,
Hudson Valley Express, Poughkeepsie...
...AIbany, Utica, and Buffalo.
All aboard.
This goes to Fat Moe.
We don't tell him what it's for.
And he gives it back
only when we're all together.
Agreed?
Agreed.
Agreed.
Bugsy's coming! Run!
Noodles.
I slipped.
Schmuck.
Wanna go in?
Yeah.
You a relative?
An uncle.
It's open.
"Erected to their everlasting memory
by their friend and brother...
...David Aaronson, ."
Can I take that for you, sir?
Your limousine is waiting.
Maxie.
How are you, uncle?
You're looking good.
You're looking a little better.
Come on. Better get
you off the streets.
- Some limousine.
- What are you talking, huh?
We own the company now.
It's a good cover. It pays off too.
My mother wrote me you was in the
body-snatching business.
I appreciate everything you did
for my family.
Forget it. It's your dough.
It's all down in black and white
in the company books.
You're the company. You and Patsy and
Cockeye. Gravediggers and partners.
Hey, enough of this.
Business before pleasure.
We got a rush job. Here.
Come here. Look at this. Come here.
Sudden death. Fucking tragedy, huh?
- years old.
- ?
- What a shame.
- Great stiff. She died of an overdose.
And I'm ready for another.
Pump the life into her.
You didn't turn pansy in there, did you?
There you go.
Turning over in the grave.
They do it every time.
Don't worry. A pansy he ain't.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome, Noodles.
Whoops. Sorry.
Thanks. Good night.
- Hey, you want a little pick-me-up?
- No, thanks. I've had mine.
- Did you give her your all?
- What do you think? You bet I did.
Wait till you see this place.
It's over here.
- Where we going?
- To a place that never closes.
Whoops. Watch yourself.
What's this?
Our place.
We got the hottest spot in town.
This is the real Fat Moe's.
Get rid of that rag, will you?
- What do you think?
- It's beautiful.
- You like it?
- Beautiful. Beautiful.
Hey, give me that.
- Noodles. Look who's here.
- Patsy, look.
Come here, son of a bitch.
Come here! Come here!
- You look fantastic.
- Wait a minute.
How you doing?
- Look how big you got.
- Me?
Noodles. Oh, God.
- Noodles!
- Number three coming through.
Let's have a toast, for chrissakes!
- You look like shit.
- I just got out of prison.
- Nice guy.
- Hey, Noodles, get a load of this.
Hey, scotch heating.
Yeah, a buck a cup.
- A buck a cup?
- Yeah.
- How much it cost us?
- Costing us?
A dime, including overhead.
- Hey, Noodles.
- Fat Moe.
You look terrific.
- Look like you lost an ounce or two.
- You think I'm gonna lose hemorrhoids.
Can't recognize him without an apron.
- L 'Chaim.
- L 'Chaim.
Welcome home.
What kind of maître d' are you?
You don't even show a guy around.
- Yeah.
- What's with you?
- I didn't know. I'm sorry.
- You're some bunch of shtunks.
- You don't come up and get me.
- He's the shtunk.
- He said you weren't out till Monday.
- You get him the next time he gets out.
God forbid. God forbid.
Come on, let's see if you can
guess who it is.
Charlotte russe. With a little too
much whipped cream.
Peggy.
Hey, you watch it, now.
And my prices, they've gone up.
I work in a high-class joint now.
And I get paid by the pound.
My Peggy, she's worth every penny
of it too, my red-hot mama.
Come on, come on.
Timber!
You've seen your old pals,
now I want you to meet some new ones.
- I'll see you later.
- You gonna lay here all night or what?
Cockeye wanted to play with the band.
I'm serious.
Come on.
- Aren't you going to say hello?
- Hello.
- Your brother's a real friend.
- He's a romantic.
- Max tell you I was getting out today?
- Max? No.
- You remembered yourself?
- No, Moe. It's always Moe.
Yeah.
You weren't counting the days?
Of course I was. .
I lost track at .
- That wasn't my choice.
- Yes, it was. It still is.
Did you come here to
welcome me back at least?
I still live here. I was on my way out.
Moe said I should say hello.
I hope Moe didn't have to
bend your arm or anything.
No.
Welcome back, Noodles.
Hey, Noodles.
You dancing?
Every night at the Palace Theatre.
I've made some progress since I danced
here among the brooms and the empties.
You can come spy on me if you like.
If you have time.
Every night.
Noodles.
Go on, Noodles,
your mother's calling you.
It's good to see you again, Noodles.
My pleasure.
- Did you get the wine?
- Dago Red. The best.
How you doing?
There they are.
The four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Did you see that movie, Joe?
It's a good movie.
- Max, how are you?
- Good to see you.
- This must be Noodles.
- Noodles, say hello to Mr. Monaldi.
- Hi, how are you?
- All right.
Nice to meet you. You don't have
to call me Mr. Monaldi.
I like my friends and people I respect
to call me Frankie.
Come on, sit down.
Get some chairs and some glasses.
Sit down, relax. You're home now.
This is my very dear friend Joe.
He came from Detroit to ask me
to do him a favor.
And I wanna do it for him.
I don't have to tell you who Joe is,
how far he got, or how far he'll get.
He's not only my dear friend,
he's my brother.
I'll tell you the truth.
Even a Jew can't eat this shit.
I mean, the mustard doesn't even help.
These guys with you?
I told you these fellas are with me.
You could trust them.
You're in good hands.
Just tell them
what you want them to do.
Move some diamonds from Detroit.
Kid stuff.
Why us then?
If it's kid stuff, why not have
the kids from Detroit do it?
Excuse me, Noodles. He means that
it's something that's very simple.
But he needs kids
from outside to handle it.
He just found out they're moving these
diamonds to Holland in a few days.
So it's something came up right away.
You understand?
Hey, Joe.
Tell these guys the story about
the pussy being insured. What is it?
Tell these guys how you
stumbled on this whole thing.
- Tell them the story.
- Come on.
Pussy insurance. The insurance pussies.
Tell them that story.
Life is stranger than shit, that's
all. It's a pisser. No big story.
I got this insurance agent,
this Jew kid named David.
He conned me into every policy in
the world. Every policy, name it.
Dogs, house, wife, life, anything.
I'm drinking with the boys one night,
he comes in with his wife...
...a brunette with a nice ass
who works for a jeweler.
And he's still on the hustle, this guy.
So I wink at the guys,
I say, "Look...
...the most serious policy,
you don't have me covered for."
He goes, "What's that, Joe?"
"Cock insurance."
"You make me a policy that
when it don't work, I get a payment...
...I'll write out a check now."
He thinks, and he says, "I don't know
if the actuality gauges govern this...
...but we can make a policy.
But you gotta guarantee you're
in good health now."
I says, "Look, leave her with me.
Come back and see if it stands up.
If it stands up,
you know I'm in good health."
The jerk leaves her. I screw her.
Not only that, she likes it. And she
tells me when her boss, the jeweler...
...is shipping stones to Holland...
...where he keeps his stash
in a drawer in the safe. Everything.
Can't ask for more, right?
Except, one better.
I never paid the first premium
on the new cock policy.
Cock insurance.
Life is funnier than shit.
But...
...be easy with the girl.
I mean that. Be easy with the girl.
Oh, my God!
Open it!
Who's gotten in?
Had to go and be a hero, huh?
- Open it.
- No.
- Open it!
- No, don't hurt him!
- Don't hurt him!
- Get this bitch out of here.
You animal! You asshole!
- Come on, hit me.
- What do you mean?
- Hit me.
- What, are you crazy?
- Straighten up and fly right.
- I'm all right.
Let me make it look real.
Make it look real.
- Knock it off.
- I'm all right. Let go.
- Come on, cut the act.
- Hit me!
She said hit her.
Go ahead, rap her in the mouth.
- Hit me!
- I'll hit you! You bitch!
- You animal!
- Put a cork in her.
No.
No. Don't.
Don't. No!
No! You dirty bastards!
Bastards!
Try the secret compartment.
Attaboy.
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