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CARTEL
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SGT.POLA NEGRI
I most certainly do, fraulein. His
name is Maximilian.
Even the slightly psychotic Stiglitz, likes this German Sgt.
STIGLITZ
Wonderful name, Sgt.
SGT.POLA NEGRI
Thank you, Lieutenant. When he's old
enough to ride a bicycle, I will buy
him a blue one. And I will paint on
the side "The Blue Max".
He thrusts out his beer stein, for the officers to cheers.
They do.
Bridget finishes signing her autograph, with a big flourish.
BRIDGET
There you go. But wait, I'm not finished yet.
She reaches into her clutch, and pulls out some lipstick.
Applies some ruby red color to her lips, and then kisses the
napkin, leaving a big red lip print. Then hands the treasured
item to the young father.
BRIDGET
Nothing but the best for little Maximilian.
SGT.POLA NEGRI
Thank you fraulein, thank you. Max may
not know who you are now. But he will.
I will show him all of your movies.
He will grow up with your films,
and this napkin on his wall.
Then, to the whole tavern...
SGT.POLA NEGRI
I purpose a toast to the greatest actress
in Germany! There is no Dietrich, there is
no Riefenstahl, only Von Hammersmark!
The whole room toasts.
This would be a good time for the German Sgt to go back to his
table, and his men. And he almost does.... but... since he is
drunk, and star struck, he out wears his welcome.
SGT.POLA NEGRI
So, Frau Von Hammersmark, what brings
you to France?
Feeling any good Nazi officer's patience would of been
exhausted long ago, Lt.Hicox butts in.
LT.HICOX
None of your business,Sgt.
You might not have worn out your welcome
with the fraulein, with your drunken
boorish behavior, but you have wore out
your welcome with me.
The Table of game playing Soldiers, hear this, and get quiet.
LT.HICOX
Might I remind you Sgt.,your a enlisted
man. This is a officers table. I suggest
you stop pestering the fraulein, and
rejoin your table.
The German Master Sgt., looks quizzically at the officer.
SGT.POLA NEGRI
Excuse me Cap't, but your accent is
is very unusual.
The whole room pauses-for different reasons...
SGT.POLA NEGRI
Where are you from?
A silent moment passes between the two tables, then the two
German born impostors spring into action.
WICKI
Sgt.! You must be ether drunk or mad,
to speak to a superior officer with
such impertinentness!
Stiglitz, STANDS and YELLS to the other table;
STIGLITZ
I'm making YOU,...
(Pointing at
WINNETOU)
.and YOU,..
(Pointing at
Edgar Wallace)
.responsible, for him.
(Pointing at
Sgt.Pola)
I suggest you take hold of your friend,
or he'll spend Max's first birthday
in jail for public drunkenness!
The Germans SPRING UP, and take hold of Sgt.Pola...
WHEN...
A GERMAN VOICE rings out;
GERMAN VOICE (OS)
Then might I inquire?
The Five known Germans move aside, reveling the unknown German
in the room, unseen till now, our old friend from before
MAJOR DEITER HELLSTROM of the GESTAPO. The Major stands from
the little table he was sitting at.
MAJOR HELLSTROM
Like the young newly christened father,
I too have a acute ear for accents.
And like him, I too find yours odd.
From where do you hail, Cap't?
Wicki jumps in;
WICKI
Major, this is highly inappr -
MAJOR HELLSTROM
T wasn't speaking to you
Lt.Saltzberg,
(Turning to
STIGLITZ)
or you ether, Lt.Berlin.
(Looking at
HICOX)
I was speaking to Cap't I--don't-know-what.
The Gestapo Major is now standing beside Sgt.Pola, before the
impostors table.
Lt.Hicox, calmly explains his origin.
LT.HICOX
I was born in the village that rests
in the shadow of Piz Palu.
MAJOR HELLSTROM
The mountain?
LT.HICOX
Yes. In that village we all speak like
this. Have you seen the Riefenstahl film?
MAJOR HELLSTROM
Yes.
LT. HICOX
Then you saw me. You remember the skiing
torch scene?
MAJOR HELLSTROM
Yes I do.
LT.HICOX
In that scene was myself, my father,
my sister, and my two brothers. My
brother is so handsome, the director
Pabst, gave him a Close Up.
As Bridget Von Hammersmark places a cigarette in a ivory
cigarette holder, which Hicox, as if on cue, lights for her,
she says;
BRIDGET
Major, if my word means anything, I can
vouch for everything the Young Cap't has
just said. He does hail from the bottom
of Piz Palu, he was in the film,
and his brother is far more handsome
then he.
The impostors laugh.
Then....so does the Gestapo Major. He turns to the Sgt.
MAJOR HELLSTROM
You should rejoin your friends.
Which the young Sgt is more then happy to do. That table
begins playing there game again.
Major Hellstrom, the highest ranking officer in the room, bows
graciously to the female German celebrity.
MAJOR HELLSTROM
May I join you?
BRIDGET
By all means, Major.
The Gestapo Major sits at the table, opposite Lt.Hicox, and
Wicki. The French Barmaid brings over the Majors beer stein.
MAJOR HELLSTROM
So that's the source of your bazaar
accent? Extraordinary. So what are
you doing here Cap't?
LT.HICOX
Aside from having a drink with the lovely
fraulein?
MAJOR HELLSTROM
Well that pleasure requires no explanation.
Chuckle...Chuckle
MAJOR HELLSTROM
I mean in country. Your obviously not
stationed in France, or I'd know who
you are.
LT • I'! I COX
You know every German in France?
MAJOR BELLSTROM
Worth knowing.
LT.HICOX
Well, there in lies the problem. We
never claimed to be worth knowing.
Chuckle... Chuckle.
MAJOR HELLSTROM
(Chuckling as
he asks)
All levity aside, what are you doing
in France?
LT.HICOX
Attending Goebbels film premiere as
the frauleins escort.
MAJOR HELLSTROM
Your the frauleins escort?
LT.HICOX
Somebody has to carry the lighter.
Chuckle chuckle.
BRIDGET
The Captain is my date, but all three
are my guests. We're old friends Major,
who go back along time. Longer then
a actress would care to admit.
Chuckle chuckle.
MAJOR HELLSTROM
Well, in that case, let me raise a glass
to the three luckiest men in the room.
BRIDGET
I'll drink to that.
They cheers.
BACK TO THE REAL GERMAN TABLE
They continue to have alot of fun playing their game.
BACK TO OFFICERS TABLE
MAJOR HELLSTROM
I must say, that game their playing
looks like a good bit of fun. I didn't
join them, because your quite right Cap't,
officers and enlisted men shouldn't
fraternize. But seeing as we're all
officers here,
(Bowing to
BRIDGET)
.and sophisticated lady friends of
officers. What say we play the game?
Lt.Hicox begins to refuse, when Bridget (feeling she knows
better), interrupts him;
BRIDGET
okay, one game.
MAJOR HELLSTROM
WUNDERBAR
The Major borrows five cards from the other table, and lays
them out in front of Bridget and the officers.
MAJOR HELLSTROM
So the object of the game, is to write
the name of a famous person on your card.
Real or fictitious, doesn't matter. For
instance, you could write Confucius or
Fu Manchu.
(He SNAPS his
FINGERS)
Eric' More pens.
(Back to players)
And they must be famous. No Aunt Inga's.
When you finish writing, put the card
face down on the table, and move it to
the person to your left. The person to
your right, will move their card in
front of you. You pick up the card
without looking at it, lick the back,
and stick it on your forehead like so.
He demonstrates.
MAJOR HELLSTROM
(CON'T)
And in ten yes or no questions, you must
guess who you are...
As Major Hellstrom finishes explaining the finer points of the
game, The CAMERA PANS OFF HIM, and BEGINS SLOWLY ZOOMING INTO
STIGLITZ. The Majors dialogue begins to FADE AWAY.
Untill we're in a SPAGHETTI WESTERN FLASHBACK. Which is RED
FILTERED FOOTAGE of Hugo being savagely WHIPPED by somebody
wearing a GESTAPO UNIFORM, SUPERIMPOSED over his CLOSE UP.
The Flashback disappears. It's driving Stiglitz crazy, being
this close to a Gestapo uniform, and not plunging a knife into
it.
The Majors Voice comes back on the soundtrack.
MAJOR HELLSTROM
.So let's give it a try, shall we?
Everybody write your names.
The Five players write their names...
Then move their cards to the right...
Everybody sticks their cards on their forehead...
MAJORBRIDGETWILHELMARCHIEHUGO
HELLSTROMVON HAMMERSMARKWICKIHICOXSTIGLITZ
is is is is is
KING MARCOBULLDOGBRIGITTEG.W.
KONG POLO DRUMMOND HELM PABST
MAJ.KING KONG
I'll start, give you the idea.
Am I German?
They laugh.
BRIDGET
No.
MAJ.KING KONG
Am I a American?
They laugh - but then Wicki says;
WICKI
Wait a minute, he goes to
BRIDGET
Don't be ridiculous, obviously he wasn't
born in America.
MAJ.KING KONG
So... . I visited America, aye?
The Table says; "Yes".
MAJ.KING KONG
Was this vist...fortuitous?
WICKI
Not for you.
MAJ.KING KONG
.Bummm. My native land, is it what
one would call, exotic?
The Table confers, and decides, yes it is exotic.
MAJ.KING KONG
Hummmm. That could be ether a reference
to the jungle, or the Orient. I'm going
to let my first instinct take over, and
ask, am I from the jungle?
The Tablesays; "Yes you are".
MAJ.KING KONG
Now gentlemen, around this time you could
ask, weather your real or fictitious.
I however, think that's too easy, so I
won't ask that, yet. Okay, my native land
is the jungle? I visited America, but my
visit was not fortuitous to me, but the
implication is that it was to somebody
else. When I went from the jungle to
America,... .Did I go by boat?
"Yes".
MAJ.KING KONG
Did I go against my will?
"Yes".
MAJ.KING KONG
On this boat ride, ... . Was I in chains?
"YESIS
MAJ.KING KONG
When I arrived in America,...Was I
displayed in chains?
"Yes".
MAJ.KING KONG
Am I the story of the Negro in America?
The Table says, "No".
MAJ.KING KONG
Well then I must be King Kong.
Be throws the card on the table.
They applaud him.
MAJOR HELLSTROM
Nov since I answered correctly, you all
need to finnish your drinks.
The three counterfeit Nazi's knock back their whiskey.
MAJOR HELLSTROM
Now, who's next?
LT.HICOX
Major, I don't mean to be rude. But the
four of us are very good friends. And
the four of us haven't seen each other
in quite a while. So...
Major, I'm afraid, you are intruding.
MAJOR HELLSTROM
I beg to differ Cap't. It's only if the
fraulein considers my presence a
intrusion, that I become a intruder.
How about it fraulein? Am I intruding?
BRIDGET
Of course not, Major.
MAJOR HELLSTROM
I didn't think so. It's simply the young
Cap't is immune to my charms.
The Table's not sure what to do, is this a confrontation?
Then, the Major laughs.
MAJOR HELLSTROM
I'm just joking, of course I'm intruding.
MAJOR HELLSTROM
Allow me to refill your glasses gentlemen,
and I will bid you and the fraulein adieu.
(Leaning in)
Eric has a bottle of thirty-three year old
single malt scotch whisky from the
Scottish highlands. What do you say
gentlemen?
LT.HICOX
Your most gracious, sir.
MAJOR HELLSTROM
Eric, the thirty-three, and new glasses!
You don't want to contaminate the thirty-
three with the swill you were drinking.
ERIC
How many glasses?
LT.HICOX
Five glasses.
MAJOR HELLSTROM
Not me. I like scotch, scotch doesn't like
me.
BRIDGET
Nor I. I'll stay with bubbly.
Lt.Bicox, hold up three fingers(pinky to index), to Eric the
owner.
LT.HICOX
Three glasses.
Eric brings the three glasses, and the old bottle, pouring for
the three soldiers.
Major Helistrom lifts up his beer stein, and toasts;
MAJOR HELLSTROM
To a thousand year Reich!
They all mutter, "a thousand year reich", and toast glasses.
The Gestapo Major puts down his beer stein, and then WE HEAR a
CLICK, under the table.
MAJOR HELLSTROM
Did you hear that? That's the sound of
my Luger pointed right at your testicles.
LT.HICOX
Why do you have a Luger pointed at my
testicles?
MAJOR HELLSTROM
Because you've just given yourself
away, Cap't. Your no more German then
that scotch.
LT.HICOX
Well, -Major -
BRIDGET
- Major -
MAJOR HELLSTROM
- Shut up slut.
(To Hicox)
You were saying?
LT.HICOX
I was saying that makes two of us. I've
had a gun pointed at your balls since
you sat down.
SGT.STIGLITZ
That makes three of us.
UNDERTABLE
We See all three guns pointed at appropriate crotches. As well
as Bridget's legs, right besides the Nazi Major's. Her pretty
gams are sure to be chewed up in the possible crossfire.
SGT.STIGLITZ
And at this range, I'm a real
Fredrick Zoller.
Hugo alsobrings out his dagger, and sitcks it in the table top.
MAJOR HELLSTROM
Hummmmm ... Looks like we have a bit
of a sticky situation here.
LT. H ICOX
What's going to happen, Major, is your
going to stand up, and walk out that
door with us.
MAJOR HELLSTROM
No no no no no no, I don't think so.
I'm afraid you and I both know, no matter
what happens to anybody else in this room,
the two of us aren't going anywhere.
MAJOR HELLSTROM
(pointing behind
him at the table)
Too bad about them though. They seem
like a likeable
(referring to
Stiglitz and Wicki)
You two will have to shoot them.
BRIDGET
Then Major, i implore you. For the
sake of those German troops, will
you please leave with us?
MAJOR HELLSTROM
Oh Bridget, your concern for German
troops, gets me
(Pointing at
his heart)
.right here. You mean for the sake
your whore legs, don't you? You can't
afford to get any bullet holes in them,
your not finished spreading them for
all the Hollywood Jews.
Lt.Hicox picks up his thirty-three year old single malt
scotch, and says;
LT.HICOX
(ENGLISH)
'Well, if this is it old boy, I hope
you dont mind if I go out speaking
the kings?
MAJOR HELLSTROM
(ENGLISH)
By all means, Cap't.
The English film critic, commando, picks up the thirty-three
the Nazi Major bought him, and says;
LT.HICOX
There's a special rung in hell reserved
for people who waste good scotch.
And seeing as I might be rapping on
the door momentarily...
He downs the stuff.
LT.HICOX
(To the Nazi
MAJOR)
I must say, damn good stuff, sir.
He puts the glass down.
LT.HICOX
Now about this, "Pickle", we find
ourself's in. It would appear, there's
only thing left for you to do.
MAJOR HELLSTROM
(ENGLISH)
And what would that be?
LT.HICOX
Stiglitz.
STIGLITZ
Say, auf wiedersehen to your balls!
STIGLITZ
FIRES into HELLSTROM'S BALLS...
As does HICOX, HITTING not only Hellstrom, but BRIDGET as
well.
HELLSTROM
FIRES into HICOX'S BALLS and KNEE CAPS.
STIGLITZ
then JUMPS over the table, and begins STABBING HELLSTROM with the
DAGGER.
HICOX FALLS to the floor....DEAD.
BRIDGET FALLS to the floor.,SHOT.
WICKI
brings his weapon out from underneath the table, and BEGINS
FIRING across at The GERMANS at the table, who unaware, were
still PLAYING THE GAME.
WINNETOU
is SHOT IN THE BACK, before he even knew what was happening.
EDGAR WALLACE and The FRENCH BARMAID
are both SHOT by WICKI.
SGT.POLA NEGRI
FALLS to the floor in the confusion.
FEMALE SGT.BEETHOVEN and STIGLITZ bring their guns toward each
other and FIRE. They BOTH TAKE and GIVE each other so many
BULLETS, it's almost romantic when they collapse DEAD on the
floor.
WICKI and HATA HARI
both ON THERE atMATA AARI is
HIT THREE TIM atally)G
SGT.POLA NEGRI
comes the a CHINE GUNN,
whole thehroom;,BWIPI NGERIC.
The SHOOTING STOPS...the SMOKE caused by the gunfire ... starts
to DISSIPATE... The only one in the room left alive, is the
young German Sgt, with the machine gunn.
WE HEAR the feet of the soldiers outside, reach the basement
entrance.
The door opens...
, .The German Sgt, sends FIFTY BULLETS in the doors
direction...
No one goes through it.
What we have here, is a rabbit hole like situation. No one
inside is getting out, no one outside is getting in.
The young German Sgt, YELLS in ENGLISH, to the outside;
GERMAN SGT
You outside! Who are you? British,
American, what?
Aldo's Voice YELLS down the hole;
ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
Were American's 1 What are you?
GERMAN SGT
I'm a German you idiot!
ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
You speak English pretty good for a
German!
GERMAN SGT
I agree! So let's talk!
ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
Okay, talk!
GERMAN SGT
I'm a father! My baby was born today
in Frankfurt! Five hours ago! His name
is Max! We were in here drinking and
celebrating! They're the ones that
came in shooting and killing!
It's not my fault!
ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
Okay, okay, it wasn't your fault!
What's your name soldier?
GERMAN SGT
Wilhelm!
ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
That's the same name as one of the
guys you just killed!
WILHELM
They attacked us!
ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
Okay Wilhelm... .is anybody alive
on our side?
WILHELM
No!
We hear a VOICE OFF SCREEN, yell out;
BRIDGET'S VOICE(OS)
I'm alive!
Wilhelm spins in the direction of the voice.
STILL
On the floor, with a bullet in her BLOODY LEG, lies the
alive Bridget Von Hammersmark.
The German Sgt points the muzzle of the machine gunn at
the German celebrity; with hate in his eyes.
ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
Who's that?
WILHELM
(To BRIDGET,
LOW)
Make a sound whore, and I spit!
Meaning the muzzle.
ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
Wilhelm, who is that?
WILHELM
is the girl on your side?
Pause.
ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
Which girl?
WILHELM
1 Who do you think, Von Hammersmark!
ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
Yeah, she's oar's!
WILHELM
(To Bridget
LOW in GERMAN)
I thought so. So you run with the
American's now, huh? Now times are
bad?
ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
Is she okay?
WILHELM
(To Bridget
LOW in GERMAN)
You despicable traitor.
(To Aldo)
She's been shot, but she's alive.
(To Bridget
LOW in GERMAN)
For now.
We hear The Basterds Curse their luck Off Screen.
ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
Okay Wilhelm, what'd ya say we
make a deal?
WILHELM
What's your name?
ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
Aldo. Wilhelm, can I call yap Willi?
WILHELM
Yes.
ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
So Willi, you know we could lob three
or four or five or six grenades down
there, and your little war story ends
here. But good fer you, bad fer her,
you die, she dies. So what say we
make a swap?
WILLI
Keep talking?
ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
Okay, Willi here's my deal! You let
me and one of my men come down to
take the girl away! And we take the
girl, and leave! That simple, Willi!
You go your way, we go ours! And little
Max, gets to grow up playing catch with
his daddy! So what'ya say, Willi, we
got a deal?
Willi thinks...
Bridget watches Willi think...
WILLI
Aldo?
ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
I'm here Willi!
WILLI
I want to trust you.... But howcanI?
ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
What choice ya got?
WILLI
I could kill the girl!
ALDO'S VOICE(OS)
Well now, Willi, that's true enough.
But something you need to know, so
you don't get the wrong idea. Ain't
none of us give a fuck bout that
girl. But, admittedly, if you kill
her, it would fuck up our plans. But
you'll be dead by then anyway, so
what'd you care? And lets not
forget that little gatzenjammer
Max, growin up without a pop. So in
the spirit of gettin you home to
him, we got a deal, Willi?
WILLI
Okay Aldo, I'm going to trust you!
Come down, no guns!
Aldo and Hirschberg come down the stairs, showing open hands.
Willi keeps his machine gunn trained on them.
Aldo with his hands up, says;
ALDO
Hey Willi, what's with the machine
gunny I thought we had a deal?
WILLI
We do have a deal, now git the girl
and go.
ALDO
Not so fast, Willi, we only have a
deal, we trust each other. A Mexican
stand off ain't trust.
WILLI
You need guns on me for it to be
a Mexican stand off.
ALDO
you got guns on us, you decide to
shoot, we're dead. Up top, they got
grenades, they drop 'em down here,
your dead. That's a Mexican stand
off, and that wasn't the deal.
WILLI
Just take that fucking traitor, and
go! See? Now your down here
Now you get tricky - t
ALDO
- No tricks!- Ain't nobody gittin
tricky, Willi; I swear to god, I'm
too damn dumb toget tricky. But
(MEANING
HIRSCHBERG)
him and I lived upto the deal. We
came down without guns. Now it's
your turn. No trust,no deal.
Willi pointing gunn at them.,,, -thinking...
ALDO
i know your scarred. I'm scarred,
he's scarred, we're all scarred.
So what's it gonnabe Willi?
Ether we got a deal, or you might
as well just shoot us now.
Willi decides...
He puts the machine gunn down on the bar.
WILLI
Fine. Take that fucking traitor and
get her out of my sight.
ALDO
Danka, Willi, danka. okay, Hirschbeg,
you grab her shoulder -
WHEN...
From behind Aldo and Hirschberg, Bridget lifts up Major
Hellstroms Luger, and EMPTIES the remaining bullets into
Sgt.Willi, who FALLS to the floor, DEAD.
Aldo and Hirscberg spin around shocked.
ALDO
You fuckin bitch! I had a deal with
that man!
From the floor, the bloody, sweaty, and in excoriating pain
(she'll probably lose that leg), German movie star, says to the
two American soldier's she's just meeting for the first time;
BRIDGET
He was a enemy soldier, who knew who
I was. He couldn't live.
Hirscberg loses control, and RICKS the woman on the floor,
hard in the side.
HIRSCHBERG
I ought'a beat your fuckin head in
ALDO
Stop it. Just pick her up, and get
that bitch outta here.
HIRSCHBERG
Aldo, she just-
ALDO
- She's right.
HIRSCHBERG
What?
ALDO
I said, she's right. He was a Nazi
soldier. If he lived, he would doomed
the mission.
ELI
Is,.
ALDO
61
(CON'T)
Don't mean I like it, don't mean I
like her, but she's right. Now as
Willi said, "take this fuckin
traitor, and get 'er outta my sight".
EXT - LA LOUISIANE - NIGHT
Hirschberg, carrying Fraulein Von Hammersmark, and Aldo emerge
from the bowels of the basement.
Bridget points at a fancy black sedan, telling them it's her's.
Aldo, Hirschberg, Bridget, Donowitz, and Utivich pile in, and
take off.
INT - FRENCH HOUSE IN COUNTRY (BEDROOM)- NIGHT
NOTE:In this entire scene, no French spoken will be SUBTITLED.
A OLD MAN lies asleep under the covers of his blankets, in his
bed, in his bedroom...
WHEN...
OFF SCREEN the sound of a DOOR BEING KICKED OPEN...
r .The SOUND of what sounds like EIGHT DOGS BARKING .... and the
sound of FEET RUNNING TOWARDS US...
.his bedroom door, is THROWN OPEN, and Sgt.Donowitz RUSHES
IN, grabbing the Old Man in his bed, and putting a
45Automatic to his head.
SGT.DONOWITZ
(ENGLISH)
Doctor? Doctor?
OLD MAN
(FRENCH)
What? What's happening?
head, shocking, Donny SLAMS the 45. hard against the Old Man's
scarring, and bringing the old gent to attention.
SGT.DONOWITZ
(ENGLISH)
Doctor? Are you a fucking doctor?
He nods his head, yes.
SGT.DONOWITZ
Andi amo...
Donny YANKS/DRAGS the Old Man out of bed, in his almost
comical nightshirt (which makes him cuter, thus the brutality
against him hurts more) towards the door...
INT - DOCTORS EXAMINING ROOM - NIGHT
.Into a doctors examining room, built into a French country
house, with a examining table, and medical instruments.
However, it's obviously the medical examining room
of a veterinarian.
Along the walls are different cages with eight excited BARKING
dogs in it.
The Soldiers are putting the shot in the leg, bleeding, and in
excruciating pain, Bridget on the examining table.
Donny, still holding on to the Old Man, points in the girls
direction...
SGT.DONOWITZ
(ENGLISH)
She's been shot. Shot. Bang bang...
(pointing at
his leg)
.in leg...understand?
OLD MAN
(FRENCH)
No no no, I don't speak English.
Donny jams the barrel of his 45. into the thigh of the Old Man.
SGT.DONOWITZ
(ENGLISH)
BANG BANG - in the leg, understand!
The Old Man nods his head yes.
OLD MAN
(FRENCH)
But I'm a veterinarian ...animals...
I take care of animals...
Bridget screams from the table...
BRIDGET
(ENGLISH)
He's a fucking veterinarian you
imbecile!
SGT.DONOWITZ
I
It's still a doctor. If he can get
a bullet out of a cow, he can get
a bullet outta you.
LT.ALDO
Right now, we just need morphine.
Donny yells at the Old Man;
SGT.DONOWITZ
Morphine! We need morphine!
The Old Man tries to explain in French, that he's not a human
doctor...
WHEN...
..Donny takes the 45. and SHOOTS one of the DOGS in the
cages.
Everybody jumps.
Donny SCREAMS at the Old Man;
SGT.DONOWITZ
MORPHINE!!!
7
BANG
He SHOOTS another dog...
SGT.DONOWITZ
MOREPHINE!!!
The Old Man begs him to stop, and goes to get the morphine.
CUT TO
The BODY of Gestapo Major DEITER HELLSTROM dead on the floor.
INT - LA LOUISTANE- NIGHT
Were back in the basement tavern. Colonel Hans Landa stands
over the corpse. He moves over to the next corpse, a smile
breaks out on his face.
He says in GERMAN SUBTITLED into ENGLISH;
COL.LANDA
Ahhh Hugo, you've moved up in the
world I see. Lieutenant. And with
your record of insubordination.
Truly remarkable.
A Nazi soldier named HERRMAN, joins the S.S. Officer.
COL.LANDA
And that ones...
(Pointing at
WICKI)
.name is Weiheim Wicki. Bets
Austrian born jew, who immigrated
to the United States when things
began turning sour for the Israelites.
They are the two German born members of
The Basterds. They've been known
to don german uniforms, to ambush squads.
FLASH ON
Three Nazi Soldiers walking towards a company of other German
Soldiers. The Three Soldiers backs are to us. Dried bloody
bullet holes cover the backs of the three uniforms.
The SGT of the German company, yells to the trio;
SGT.GERMAN COMPANY
What brings you all the way out here?
The TRIO MOW DOWN the GERMAN COMPANY with their machine gunns.
BACK TO LANDA
COL LANDA
But that doesnt look like this.
This is odd.
Looking down he see's something...
.bending down, he examines fraulein von Hammersmarks two
pretty dress shoes lying on the floor.
One shoe is covered in blood.
The other, while blood speckled, is fairly clean.
Picking up the clean shoe, and holding it in his hand.
COL.LANDA
It would appear somebodies missing.
Somebody fashionable.
A OFF SCREEN SOLDIER'S VOICE cries out;
SOLDIERS VOICE(OS)
Col, this ones still alive!
We follow Hans to the spot on the floor where Sgt.Willi lies.
He's shot in the chest, but it looks like Max's daddy is still
alive.
INT - EXAMINING ROOM -° NIGHT
Bridget on the examining table, post morphine shot.
The other Basterds in the room watch Aldo interrogate the
German lady.
LT.ALDO
Now 'fore we yank that slug outta ya,
you need to answer a few questions
BRIDGET
Few questions about what?
LT.ALDO
About I got three men dead back there,
and why don't you try tellin us what
the fuck happened?
BRIDGET
The British officer blew his German
act, and a Gestapo Major saw it.
LT.ALDO
'fore we get into who shot John,
why did you invite my men to a
rendez-vous in a basement with a bunch
of Nazis?
BRIDGET
I can see, since you didn't see
what happened inside, the Nazi's
being there must look odd.
LT.ALDO
Yeah, we gotta word for that kinda
odd in English, it's called,
suspicious.
BRI DGET
Don't let your imagination get the
better of you, Lieutenant. You met
the sergeant, Willi. He had a baby
tonight. His commanding officer gave
him and his friends the night off to
celebrate. The Germans being there
was just a tragic coincidence.
Aldo thinks for a moment...
LT. ALDO
Okay, I'll buy that. He was ether
there with his men waiting for us,
or he was there celebrating his
sons birthday, he wasn't doin both.
LT.ALDO
How did the shootin start?
BRIDGET
The English man, gave himself away.
LT. ALDO
How did he do that?
BRIDGET
He ordered three glasses.
She holds up three fingers, index to pinky.
BRIDGET
We order, three glasses.
She holds up three fingers, thumb to index.
BRIDGET
That's the German three. The other
is odd. Germans would, and did notice it.
LT. ALDO
Okay, let's pretend there were no
Germans, and everything went exactly
the way it was suppose to. What would
of been the next step?
BRIDGET
Tuxedos. To get them into the
premiere, wearing military uniforms,
with all the military there, would
of been suicide. But going as
members of the German film industry,
they wear tuxedos, and blend in with
everybody else. I arranged a tailor
to fit three tuxedos tonight.
LT.ALDO
How did you intend to get them into
the premiere?
BRIDGET
Hand me my purse.
They do. And she opens it, and takes out three tickets to the
film premiere.
BRIDGET
Lt.Hicox was going as my escort.
The other two were going as a German
cameraman and his assistant.
LT. ALDO
Can you still get us in that
premiere?
BRIDGET
Can you speak German better then your
friends, no. Have I been shot, yes.
I don't see me tripping the light
fantastique up the red carpet any
time soon. Least of all by tomorrow
night.
(PAUSE)
However, there's something you don't
know. There's been two recent
developments regarding Operation
Kino. One, the venue has been
changed from The Ritz, to a much
smaller venue.
LT.ALDO
Enormous changes at the last minute?
That's not very Germatic. Why the
hell is Goebbels doin stuff so damn
peculiar?
BRIDGET
It probably has something to do with
the second development.
LT. ALDO
Which is?
FLASH ON
IN A PRIVATE DINNING ROOM IN GERMANY, The FUHRER, aka Adolph
Hitler, aka Adolph Shicklegroover, aka The Bohemian Corporal,
having dinner with Goebbels, only a few short days ago.
The FUHRER
(GERMAN)
I've been rethinking my position in
regards to your Paris premiere of
"Nations Pride". As the weeks have
gone on, and the Americans are on
the beach, I do find myself thinking
more and more about this Private
Zoller. This boy has done something
tremendous for us. And I'm beginning
to think my participation in this
event could be meaningful.
BACK TO BRIDGET
BRIDGET
The Fuhrer's attending the premiere.
Donny breaks the teams silence;
SGT.DONOWITZ
What?
LT.ALDO
When the hell did this happen?
BRIDGET
The venue change, two weeks ago.
The Fuhrer's attendance, four days
ago.
LT. ALDO
And how come London don't know
nothing about that?
BRIDGET
We need to get something straight,
once and for all. Everything London
knows, it learned from me. If I
don't know, London doesn't know.
So now, this is me, informing you,
Hitler's coming to Paris.
SGT.DONOWITZ
FUCK A DUCK?
Aldo stands up from the chair, pacing as he takes in this new
information.
BRIDGET
What are you thinking?
LT.ALDO
I'm thinking getting a wack at
plantin ole Uncle Adolph makes
this a horse of a different color.
BRIDGET
What's that suppose to mean?
LT.ALDO
It means, your gettin us in that
premiere.
BRIDGET
I'm going to probably end up losing
this leg, bye bye acting career,
fun while it lasted. How do you
expect me to walk up a red carpet?
LT.ALDO
The doggie docs gonna dig that slug
outta your gam. Then he's gonna wrap
it up in a cast, and you gotta good
how I broke my leg mountain climbing
story. That's German, ain't it?
Y'all like climbin mountains,
don'tch?
BRIDGET
I don't. I like smoking, drinking,
and ordering in restaurants, but I
see your point.
LT. ALDO
We fill ya up with morphine, till
it's comin out ya ears. Then just
limp your little ass up that
rouge car-pet.
BRIDGET
Splendid. When the Nazi's put me up
against a wall, it won't hurt
so much.
(Changing tone)
I know this is a silly question
before I ask it, but can you
American's speak any other language
then English?
HIRSCHBERG
Other then Yiddish?
BRIDGET
Preferably.
Donny referring to Aldo and himself.
SGT.DONOWITZ
We both speak alittle Italian.
BRIDGET
With a atrocious accent, no doubt.
But that doesn't exactly kill us
in the crib. Germans don't have a
good ear for Italian. So you mumble
Italian, and brazen through it, is
that the plan?
LT. ALDO
That's about it.
BRIDGET
That sounds good.
LT. ALDO
it sounds like shit, but what else
we gonna do, go home?
BRIDGET
No, it's good. If you don't blow it,
with that, I can get you in the
building.
(Change tone)
So, who does what?
LT.ALDO
Well I speak the most Italian, so
I'll be your escort. Donowitz speaks
the second most, so he'll be your
Italian cameraman. And Hirschberg
third most, so he'll be Donnys
assistant.
HIRSCHBERG
I don't speak Italian.
LT. ALDO
Like I said, third best. Just keep
your fuckin mouth shut. In fact why
don't you start practising, right now.
BRIDGET
(Meaning Utivich)
What about the little one?
UTIVICH
Do you mean me?
BRIDGET
I didn't mean any offence.
UTIVICH
None taken you German cunt.
LT.ALDO
Utivich is the chauffeur.
UTIVICH
I can't drive.
Bridget SCREAMS in frustration;
BRIDGET
You Americans are fucking useless!
UTIVICH
IVGimmie a break, I'm from Manhattan.
LT.ALDO
No worries, son. We got over fourteen
hours before the movie tomorrow.
More then enough time for you to learn
to drive.
UTIVICH
NO no no no, Lieutenant, it's not!
LT.ALDO
Oh yes yes yes yes, Private, it is.
And yes yes yes yes, you will.
(Changes tone)
Look Utivich, you and I both know,
if we went to grade school together,
you damn sure ain't copyin off of my
test. Well I lern't to drive in four
hours on a Tennessee mountain road.
And I'm a shit for brains coal miner
bootlegger. Hirschberg, you know how
to drive, right?
HIRSCHBERG
Yes.
LT.ALDO
Teach 'em.
BRIDGET
But there is a problem. I'm a movie
star. This is a movie premiere.
I can't show up looking like I was
just in a Nazi gun fight. Now I
have a dress for the premiere at my
hotel. But sometime tomorrow, I
have to get my hair done.
All The Basterds, except Donny, burst out laughing.
LT. ALDO
Sister, you must got wunderbar luck.
Guess who went to beauty school?
The CAMERA WHIP PANS to SGT.DONOWITZ.
Bridget rolls her eyes.
BLACK FRAME
CHAPTER TITLE APPEARS:
CHAPTER FIVE
"REVENGE OF THE GIANT FACE"
FADE OFF
INT - SHOSANNAS AND MARCELS LIVING QUARTERS - NIGHT
We're in Shosannas and Marcels living quarters, above the
cinema. We've never been in here before.
A SUBTITLE APPEARS ON SCREEN:
NIGHT OF "NATION'S PRIDE" PREMIERE
She's standing before a full length mirror, in a real
attractive Forties style dress for the premiere. She's stunning.
This is the first time in her life she's had the opportunity,
or the occasion to wear something like this. Since she knows
this is the last night of her life, no time like the present.
SOUNDS of the hub-bub of the premiere, not to mention the
German brass band that's blaring Third Reich Marches, can be
heard coming from below.
Shosanna walks to her apartment window, and looks down at the
Germatic miasma below.
SHOSANNAS POV: WE SEE all the pageantry below. Tons of
SPECTATORS. Tons of guests dressed in Nazi uniforms, tuxedos,
and female finery, walking up the long red carpet(with a big
Swastika in the middle, naturally) leading into Shosannas
cinema. The German brass band omm-pa-pa-ing away. German Radio
and Film crews covering the event for the fatherland back
home. And of course, MANY GERMAN SOLDIERS providing security
for this joyous Germatic occasion.
Shosanna COUGHS up a lugi, and HOCKS it.
A GERMAN S.S. GENERAL, being interviewed by a RADIO COMMENTATOR,
the lugi HITS him right on his bald head.
Shosanna goes back to the full length mirror, places a very
fashionable Forties style hat on her head, then lowers the
period style black fish net veil over her face. She takes out
a small GUN, and puts it in the pocket of her dress., and it's
on. She exits the apartment door, to join the premiere.
From this point on, there's no turning back, it's all the way
baby, all the fucking way!
INT - CINEMA STAIRWELL - NIGHT
The stairwell in the building that connects the living
quarters, with the cinema. She walks down the stairs, goes
through a door that puts her next to the projection booth
door. She takes out a key and opens it.
INT - PROJECTION BOOTH - NIGHT
Marcels prepping the film reels for tonight. The five silver
metal film cans that carry one 35mm reel of film each are laid
out. The cans for reels one and two are empty. Cans for reel
three, our specially marked can for reel four, and can for
reel five(which should never see the light of a projector)
lie in wait.
Shosanna, looking like a Forties movie star, enters the
projection booth.
The scene in FRENCH SUBTITLED in ENGLISH;
MARCEL
Ooh lala, Danielle Darrieux, this
is so exciting. Pleased to meet you.
SHOSANNA
Shut up fool.
Marcel lifts up the veil covering her face, and their lips
meet.
SHOSANNA
Cheeky black bugger. I have to go
down and socialize with these Hun
pigs. Let's go over it again?
MARCEL
Reel one is on the first projector.
Reel two is on the second. Three
and four are ready to go.
SHOSANNA
Okay, the big sniper battle in the
film begins around the middle of
the third reel. Our film, comes on
in the forth reel, so Somewhere
towards the end of the third reel,
go down and lock the doors of the
auditorium. Then take your place
behind the screen, and wait for my
CUE, when I give it to you, BURN IT DOWN!
INT - CINEMA LOBBY - NIGHT
The pageantry of the evening is in full swing, as all the
German beautiful people, enter the cinema. They mingle in the
swastika covered, greek nude statue peppered lobby. Nazi
Military Commanders, High Ranking Party Officials, and German
Celebrities(Emil tannings, Veit Harlin), hob knob and drink
Champagne from passing WAITERS who carry glasses on silver
trays.
We see Shosanna enter from the area at the top of the big
staircase in the lobby that overlooks the lobby parlor
entrance. She descends the staircase, and busies herself with
theatre stuff.
At the top of the staircase, looking down at the master race
in all there finery, is Colonel Hans Landa, dressed in his
finest SS Uniform, smoking on his Calabash.
CAMERA FRAME
directly behind him. On the right side, we see the figure of
Col.Landa, from behind, watching the guests entering the
cinema. On the left side of frame, is the cinema entrance,
from a looking down perspective of the guests entering the
building.
THEN...
.A THINK BUBBLE, like in a comic book, appears on the left
side of frame, obscuring the cinema entrance. Inside of Landas
think bubble, a little scene plays out.
THINK BUBBLE
Inside a hospital room filled with DOCTORS, NURSES, and a
PATIENT in a hospital bed. Then Col.Landa enters the room, and
screams at everybody;
COL.LANDA
I want everybody out of this room!
They start to leave.
COL.LANDA
That means now, goddamnit!
They RUSH OUT.
He walks over to the Patient in the hospital bed, Its none
other then SGT.WILLI, and yes, he's still alive.
Landa pulls up a chair next to the bed, sits down.
COL.LANDA
Can you speak, Sgt?
SGT.WILLI
(WEAKLY)
Yes Colonel.
COL.LANDA
Tell me everything that happened in
there?
The THINK BUBBLE DISSOLVES away, reveling the entrance again,
and as if on perfect cue, in walks Bridget Von Hammersmark,
dressed lovely, leg in a big white cast. The three basterds in
their tuxedos, flank her.
CU COL.LANDA
smiles.
He descends the stairs, towards the four saboteurs...
They speak in GERMAN, SUBTITLED in ENGLISH;
COL.LANDA
Fraulein Von Hammersmark, what
has befallen Germany's most elegant
swan?
BRIDGET
Colonel Landa, it's been years.
Dashing as ever I see.
COL.LANDA
Flattery will get you everywhere,
fraulein.
They chuckle, and air kiss.
COL.LANDA
So what's happened to your lovely
leg, a by product of kicking ass in
the German cinema, no doubt.
BRIDGET
Save your flattery, you old dog.
I know too many of your former
conquests, to fall into that honey
pot.
Chuckle-chuckle...
COL.LANDA
Seriously, what happened?
BRIDGET
Well, I tried my hand, foolishly I
might add, at mountain climbing.
And this was the result.
COL.LANDA
Mountain climbing? That's how you
injured your leg, mountain climbing?
BRIDGET
Believe it or not, yes it is.
A brief moment passes between the two...
THEN...
The Colonel BURSTS OUT with UPROARIOUS LAUGHTER. So uproarious
in fact, that it's quite disconcerting to the four saboteurs.
The Colonel begins to regain his composure...
COL.LANDA
Forgive me, fraulein. I don't mean
laugh at your misfortune. It's just
.mountain climbing? I'm curious
fraulein, what could of ever
compelled you to undertake such a
foolhardy endeavor?
The Double meaning is not lost on the German actress.
BRIDGET
Well, I chant be doing it again,
I can tell you that.
COL.LANDA
That cast looks as fresh as my old
Uncle Gustave, when were you climbing
this mountain, last night?
BRIDGET
Very good eye, Colonel. It happened
yesterday morning.
COL.LANDA
Hummm. And where exactly in Paris
is this mountain?
This stops her for a seconded.
Then Landa laughs it off, taking them off the hook.
COL.LANDA
I'm just teasing you, fraulein. You
know me, I tease rough. So who are
your three handsome escorts?
BRIDGET
I'm afraid neither three speak a
word of German. Their friends of
mine from Italy. This is a wonderful
Italian stuntman, Antonio Margheriti.
(Meaning Aldo)
A very talented cameraman, Enzo Gorlomi.
(Meaning Donny)
And Enzo's camera assistant, Dominick
Decocco.
The German fraulein turns to the three tuxedo wearing
Basterds.
BRIDGET
(ITALIAN)
Gentlemen, this is a old friend, Col.
Sans Landa of the S.S.
The Basterds know only too well who Landa the Jew Hunter is,
but they can't show it.
LT.ALDO
COL.LANDA
Margheriti...?
(ITALIAN)
Am I saying it correctly...?
.Margheriti?
LT. ALDO
(ITALIAN)
Yes. Correct.
COL.LANDA
(ITALIAN)
Margheriti.... Say it for me once
please...?
LT. ALDO
Margheriti.
COL.LANDA
(ITALIAN)
I'm sorry, again...?
LT.ALDO
I4argheriti.
COL.LANDA
(ITALIAN)
Once more... .?
LT.ALDO
Margheriti.
COL.LANDA
Nargheriti.
(FRENCH)
It means daisies, I believe.
Turning his gaze to Donny.
COL.LANDA
(ITALIAN)
What's your name again?
SGT.DONOWITZ
Enzo Gorlomi.
COL.LANDA
(ITALIAN)
Again... .?
SGT.DONOWITZ
Gorlomi.
COL.LANDA
(ITALIAN)
One more time, but let me really
hear the music in it.
SGT.DONOWITZ
(HAMMY ITALIAN)
Gorlomi.
Now to Hirschberg...
COL.LANDA
(ITALIAN)
And you?
Then Hischberg breaks out the best Italian accent of the
GROUP;
HIRSCHBERG
Dominick Decocco.
COL.LANDA
Dominick Decocco?
HIRSCHBERG
Dominick Decocco.
COL.LANDA
Bravo... . Bravo.
BRIDGET
(GERMAN)
Well, my two cameraman friends need
to find there seats.
Col.Landa stops a WAITER with a tray of champagne glasses.
COL.LANDA
(GERMAN)
Not so fast, lets enjoy some champagne.
Everyone gets a glass.
COL.LANDA
(FRENCH)
- Oh, Mademoiselle Mimieux, please
join us, I have some friends I'd
like you to meet.
Shosanna joins the circle, and is handed a champagne glass.
This is the first moment The Basterds are aware of Shosanna.
COL.LANDA
(FRENCH)
May I say Mademoiselle, you look
divine.
SHOSANNA
(FRENCH)
Merci'.
COL.LANDA
(GERMAN)
This lovely young lady, is Mademoiselle
Emmanuelle Mimieux, this is her cinema,
and she is our hostess for the evening.
(FRENCH)
And Mademoiselle, this battered, broken,
and none worse for the wear German
goddess, is Bridget Von Hammersmark.
BRIDGET
Bonjour.
SHOSANNA
Bon jour.
BRIDGET
(FRENCH)
I'm afraid my companions don't speak
any French, there Italian. This is
Antonino, Enzo, and Dominick.
All three smile goofy spaghetti bender smiles.
COL.LANDA
(FRENCH)
Actually fraulein Von Hammersmarks
Italian associates, need help finding
there seats. Perhaps Mademoiselle
Mimieux would be so kind to escort
them?
SHOSANNA
(FRENCH)
It would be my pleasure. Let me see
your tickets?
Donny hands her two tickets. She indicates for them to follow her.
Donny and Hirschberg both exchange one last look with Aldo,
then follow the young french girl into the auditorium.
INT - AUDITORIUM - NIGHT
The cinema auditorium is filling up quickly with grey and black
uniforms.
Shosanna finds the two counterfeit Italians their seats.
After she points out their seats, she turns to leave...
Hirschberg...
.reaches out and grabs her wrist.
He looks her in the face, and filled with tremendous guilt,
because if he's successful tonight he's going to blow this
cute French girl to smithereens, he says;
HIRSCHBERG
Grazie.
The cute French Girl looks back at the goofy looking Italian
boy with slicked back hair, that makes him look kind of
Jewish, with tremendous guilt, knowing if she is successful
tonight, she's going to burn him alive, and says;
SHOSANNA
Prego.
BACK TO LOBBY
They begin flicking the lights on and off. A GERMAN SOLDIER
YELLS in GERMAN in the lobby;
GERMAN SOLDIER
Take your seats! The show is about to
begin! Everybody take your seatsl
Col.Landa, Lt.Aldo, and Bridget are still together.
COL.LANDA
(GERMAN)
I must call The Fuhrer. He doesn't
want to make his entrance untill
everybody seated. Come with me Frau
Von Hammersmark. The Fuhrer has
heard your here, and he wishes to
commend you personally.
BRIDGET
(GERMAN)
Me? Why?
COL.LANDA
(GERMAN)
Don't be modest. Everybody is quite
taken with your resolve. A accident,
like you've just experienced, and
yet you still show up to to a
important Party event. The Fuhrer
was quite adamant in his gratitude.
We'll use Mademoiselle Mimieux's office.
(To Aldo
in Italian)
I'm afraid I must rob you of your
companion, but only for a moment.
BRIDGET
(ITALIAN)
Yes, apparently The Fuhrer wishes
to commend me.
COL.LANDA
(ITALIAN)
Wait here a moment. I promise I won't
detain her long.
What are ether of them suppose to do, argue?
Col.Landa goes over to one of the Nazi GAURD/USHER, and
whispers in his ear, gesturing toward Aldo. Like he's saying,
leave the boy alone, till we come back... .Or is he?
Col.Landa limps Bridget away towards Shosannas office.
As Aldo stands in the lobby, more and more people enter the
auditorium, till it's only Aldo and the six Nazi Gaurd/Ushers
in the now vacant lobby.
INT - SHOSANNA'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Shosanna's cinema manager office. It's small, cluttered, and
dominated by a desk.
They both enter.
Col.Landa closes the door behind him, and LOCKS IT.
Bridget notices, but says nothing.
Now the two Germans are alone.
COL.LANDA
Have a seat fraulein.
Pointing at one lone chair in front of the desk.
She lowers herself in the chair.
Instead of moving around to the other side of the desk,
opposite her. The SS Colonel pulls another little chair over,
and places it in front of the fraulein.
He sits. Their knees almost touching.
The colonel points to the foot not in the cast.
COL.LANDA
(GERMAN)
Let me see your foot.
BRIDGET
(GERMAN)
I beg your pardon?
Patting his lap.
COL.LANDA
Put your foot in my lap.
BRIDGET
Colonel, you embarrass me.
COL.LANDA
I assure you fraulein, my intention
is not to flirt.
Patting his lap more with more aggression.
The nervous fraulein, lifts up her strapy dress shoe enclosed
foot, and places it in the Colonel's lap.
The Colonel, very delicately, unfastens the thin straps that
hold the frauleins shoe on her foot...
.He removes the shoe...
.Leaving only the frauleins bare foot...
THEN...
He removes from his heavy SS coat pocket, the pretty dress shoe
the fraulein left behind at La Louisiane...
He slips it on her foot...
.it fits like a glove.
Bridget knows she's BUSTED.
Col.Landa smiles and says in ENGLISH;
COL.LANDA
What's that American expression...
"if the shoe fits...you must wear it".
He removes her foot from his lap.
BRIDGET
(GERMAN)
What now Colonel?
COL LANDA
(GERMAN)
Do you admit you treachery?
She stares defiant daggers into him.
BRIDGET
(GERMAN)
The only thing I will admit to, is
resisting you...
(ENGLISH)
Sons-a-bitches..
(GERMAN)
.to my last breath.
COL.LANDA
(GERMAN)
"Resist to your last breath"?
SUDDENLY...
Hans LUNGES forward, putting his strong mitts around Bridget
Von Hammersmarks lily white delicate neck, and with all the
violence of a Lion in mid-pounce, SQUEEZES with all his MIGHT.
Bridgets face turns tomato RED, as the VEINS in her face
BULGE, and her esophagus is CRUSHED in his GRIP.
With a violent YANK, he JERKS her TO THE FLOOR. She TUMBLES
out of the chair, Landa never releasing his GRIP around her
throat. Nov fully on top of her, he BEARS DOWN, SQUEEZING THE
VERY LIFE OUT OF HER. Every thing he has, he brings to bear on
the elegant ladies neck.
Then, to finally finish her off, he begins BANGING THE BACK OF
HER HEAD, HARD AGAINST THE FLOOR...
BANG!
BANG!
BANG?
She's dead.
He releases the grip around her throat. His hands are
TREMBLING...
He rises.
Strangling the very life out of somebody with your bear hands,
is the most violent act a human being can commit.
Also, only humans strangle, the opposable thumbs being quite
important part of the endeavor. As Hans Landa stands, the
sheer violence he had to call on to accomplish this task,
still surges through him. He tries to gain control of the
trembling, that is rippling through his body. He takes out a
silver SS FLASK(filled with peach schnapps), and knocks back
a couple of swigs. He holds his hand out in front of him. The
TREMBLING is beginning to subside. He picks up the telephone.
Into the phone in German he says;
COL.LANDA
Inform The Fuhrer the audience has
taken there seats, and we're ready
to begin.
Step one, in Hans master plan, done.
He then dials another number...
INT - LOBBY - NIGHT
Aldo in the lobby...
WHEN...
.he's JUMPED by the SIX NAZI USHERS...
He's THROWN ROUGHLY to the ground face first. Like the modern
day Secret Service, within seconds, his wrists are handcuffed
behind his back, he's searched, they find the BOMB attached to
his ankle, it's removed, a BLACK CLOTH BAG is pulled over his
head, then he's hoisted up, and RUSHED out of the building.
This happens in mere seconds, and quietly too, no one in the
auditorium is none the wiser...
INT - AUDITORIUM - NIGHT
,including Donowitz and Hirschberg, sitting amongst the
master race, waiting for showtime.
EXT - CINEMA - NIGHT
The Six Nazi Soldiers, hustle the hooded Aldo, down the red
carpet, then into the alley besides the cinema.
Aldo's put up against a wall.
Inside the black hood, he's SCREAMING every insulting thing
about Germany, Germans, German food, German
shepherd... anything.
COL.LANDA'S VOICE(OS)
Shut up!
The faceless black hood does.
Col.Landa, now standing directly in front of his hooded
prisoner, says in ENGLISH;
COL.LANDA
As Stanley said to Livingston;
Lt.Aldo Raine, I presume?
I 'to.
LT. ALDO
Hans Landa?
COL.LANDA
You've had a nice long run, Aldo.
Alas, your now in the hands of the
SS. My hands to be exact. And they've
been waiting along time, to touch you.
He reaches out with his finger, and lightly touches Aldo's
face right in the middle of the hood.
Aldo's head VIOLENTLY FLINCHES.
COL.LANDA
Caught ya flinching.
In German, he orders the men put Aldo in the back of a truck.
Aldo, bound, and bagged, is put in the truck. Also in the
truck is Utivich, wearing a makeshift chauffeurs uniform,
bound, and bagged like the Lieutenant.
The Truck drives off.
Col.Landa turns around, and SEES FROM A DISTANCE, Hitlers
motorcade pull up to the cinema.. Then the Fuhrer, Goebbels,
Francesca, and the rest of the entourage, make there way down
the red carpet into the cinema.
Landa smiles.
EXT TRUCK (MOVING) - NIGHT
We see the truck leaving the city of Paris, under the veil of
night.
We also seem to be leaving the drama of Operation Kino.
INT - TRUCK(MOVING) - NIGHT
The two hooded prisoners, bounce along in the back of the
truck.
Utivich, is crying inside his hood.
LT.ALDO
Utivich?
UTIVICH
Is that you Lieutenant?
LT. ALDO
Yep.
lyl.
UTIVIC}I
Do you know what happened to Donny?
Hirchberg? The woman?
LT.ALDO
No I do not.
UTIVICH
Lieutenant, sorry I'm crying.
LT. ALDO
Nothin to be sorry about, son.
This bag, get to anyone.
UTIVICH
Not exactly John Wayne, am I?
LT.ALDO
John Waynes a pampered movie star.
He burst into tears, if his cook,
busts his yoke at breakfast. Just
try puttin a bag over his head, and
hear what kinda sounds he makes.
Utivich, giggles through the tears.
LT.ALDO
I just want you to know, son, I was
real proud of you tonight. Learnin
how to drive overnight. Driving in
that Limo line. You was in the hot
seat, son, and you stood up real good.
Utivich Cries LOUDER.
Aldo takes his foot, finds Utivichs foot, and places his foot
on top.
The TOUCH has a slight calming effect on Utivich.
In the darkness, Utivich has reclaimed his dignity.
EXT- COUNTRY TAVERN - NIGHT
The truck pulls up to a small tavern outside of Paris(not La
Louisaiane),
The two hooded prisoners, are walked inside the establishment.
INT - COUNTRY TAVERN - NIGHT
The hooded men are lead into the closed for business, but open
for something else, rustic tavern.
0The Nazi Guards, unlock the handcuff, then sit them down inchairs.
Then, simultaneously, the hoods are YANKED OFF.
The two prisoners, are seated at a table, in what they can now
see, is a rustic tavern. On the table is one telephone, one
bottle of Chianti, and three glasses. And on the opposite end
of the table, sits Colonel Hans Landa.
A NAZI SOLDIER sits posted at a impressive looking two way
radio set up in the tavern.
Colonel Lands starts in right away at the two baffled,
discombobulated American soldiers.
They will only speak ENGLISH in the scene.
COL.LANDA
Italian? Really?
(BEAT)
What could you have possibly been
thinking?
LT. ALDO
Well, I speak alittle Italian -
COL.LANDA
I speak a little Tagalog, but I
wouldn't begin to presume I could
pass for Filipino. Don't get me
wrong, I understand you were in a
pickle, what with you losing your
Germans. And I have nothing but
admiration for improvisation.
Still.... Chico Marx is more
convincing. if the three of you had
shown up to the premiere dressed
in womans attire, it would have been
more convincing.
Landas eyes go to the Two Nazi Guards behind the prisoners.
COL.LANDA
(GERMAN)
You may leave us. But stay alert
outside.
They exit, leaving the Colonel, the Lieutenant, the
Private and a German Radio Man in the corner.
COL.LANDA
So your Aldo the Apache?
LT. ALDO
So your The Jew Hunter?
COL.LANDA
Jew Hunter, (pfuit), I'm a detective.
A damn good detective. Finding
people is my specialty. So naturally,
I worked for the Nazi's finding people.
And yes, some of them were Jews.
But Jew Hunter? Just the name that stuck.
UTIVICH
Well you do hafts admit, it is
catchy.
COL.LANDA
Do you control the nicknames, your
enemies bestow on you? Aldo the
Apache and The Little Man?
UTIVICH
What do you mean, The Little Man?
COL.LANDA
The Germans nickname for you.
UTIVICH
The Germans nickname for me is, The
Little Man?
COL.LANDA
Or "The Little One, ether one means you.
And as if to make my point, I'm
a little surprised how tall you
were in real life. I mean, your a
little fellow. But not circus midget
little, as your reputation would
suggest.
LT.ALDO
Where is my men? Where is Bridget
Von Hammersmark?
COL.LANDA
Bridget Von Hammersmark. Oh I'm sure
she's in whatever, big bubbling
cesspool in hell, the devil reserves
for traitors of her ilk.
COL. LANDA
(COR'T)
Well, lets just say, she got what
she deserved. And when you purchase
friends like Bridget Von Hammersmark,
you get what you pay for.
Now as far as your Pisanos,
Sgt.Donowitz, and Pt.Hirschberg-
LT. ALDO
How do you know our names?
COL.LANDA
Lt.Aldo, if you don't think I wouldn't
interrogate every single one of your
swastika marked survivors... .?
We simply aren't operating on the
level of mutual respect I assumed.
Now, back to the whereabouts of your
two Italian saboteurs. At this
moment, both Hirschberg, and
Donowitz, should be sitting in the
very seats we left them in. Seats,
0023 and 0024, if my memory serves.
Explosives, still around
there ankle, still ready to
explode. And your mission, some
would call a terrorist plot, as of
this moment, is still a go.
The two Basterds don't believe this. It can't be true.
LT. ALDO
That's a pretty exciting story.
What's next, Eliza on the ice?
COL.LANDA
However, all I have to do, is pick
pick up that phone right there.
Inform the cinema, and your plans
kupet.
LT. ALDO
IF, their still there, and IF their
still alive, and that's one big IF,
there ain't no way, you gonna take
them boys without settin off them
bombs.
I R.T.
COL.LANDA
M
I have no doubt, and yes, some
Germans will die., and yes, it will
ruin the evening, and yes, Goebbels
will be very very very mad at you
for what you've done to his big night.
But you won't get Hitler, you won't
get Goebbels, you won't get Gering,
and you won't get Boorman. And you
need all four to end the war.
(PAUSE)
But if I don't pick up that phone,
right there, you may very well get
all four. And if you get all four,
you end the war...tonight.
The Nazi Colonel lifts up the bottle of Chianti, and fills
three glasses. As he pours, he says;
COL.LANDA
So gentlemen, lets discuss the
prospect of ending the war-tonight.
All three have their Chianti filled glasses.
COL.LANDA
So the way I see it, since Hitlers
death, or possible rescue, rests
solely on my reaction...If I do
nothing ...it's as if I'm causing his
death, even more then yourselves.
Would you agree?
LT. ALDO
I guess so.
COL.LANDA
How about you Uitivich?
UITIVICH
I guess so too.
COL.LANDA
Good, we more or less, all agree.
Gentlemen, I have no intention, of
Killing Hitler, and killing Goebbels,
and Killing Gerring, and killing
Boorman, not to mention winning the
war single handedly for the allies,
only later, to find myself standing
before a Jewish tribunal.
Now they get it.
COL.LANDA
If you want to win the war, tonight,
We have to make a deal.
LT.ALDO
What kinda deal?
COL.LANDA
The kind you wouldn't have the
authority to make. However, I'm sure
this mission of yours, has a
commanding officer? A General, I'm
betting. For ..
(THINKING)
.O.S.S. would be my guess.
Aldo's eyebrows reveal that was a good guess.
COL.LANDA
Oooh, that's a bingo. Is that the
way you say it, That's a bingo?
LT.ALDO
You just say, bingo.
COL.LANDA
Bingo! How fun. But I digress, where
were we? Oh yes, make a deal. Over
there is a very capable two way
radio. And sitting behind it, is a
more then capable radio operator,
named Herrman. Get me somebody on
the other end of that radio with the
power of the pen, to authorize my
- Let's call it, the terms of my
conditional surrender, if that taste
better going down.
BACK TO THE PREMIERE
Shosanna in the booth, she brings down the lights.
In the packed, excited auditorium, the house lights go down.
CU CURTAIN SWITCH, she flips it.
In the auditorium, the RED VELVET CURTAINS part.
Shosanna, throws the lever on the first projector.
.
The PROJECTOR BULB goes HOT WHITE, PROJECTING A BEAM...
FILM REELS rotate...
35mm FILM moves through the projectors film gate...
The opening seal of a film by The THIRD REICH flickers on the
SCREEN...
Goebbels and Francesca watch...
Hitler watches...
Fredrick watches...
Donowitz and Hirschberg watch...
Shosanna, in the booth, watches through the little window...
The CAMERA PANS OFF of Shosanna, to the clearly marked film
can, REEL FOUR. The SURPRISE REEL.
BACK TO LANDA AND THE HASTERDS
Landa, with radio headphones over his ears, and a microphone
in his hand, talks to the UNSEEN/UNHEARD American Brass on the
other end.
COL.LANDA
.So, when the military history of
this night is written, it will be
recorded, that I was part of
"Operation Rino" from the very
beginning, as a double agent.
Anything I've done in my guise as a
SS Colonel, was sanctioned by The
O.S.S., as a necessary evil to
establish my cover with The Germans.
And it was my placement, of
Lt.Raines dynamite in Hitler and
Goebbels opera box that assured
there demise. By the way, that last
part is actually true.
FLASH ON
Landa placing bomb in Goebbels and Francesca's opera box.
BACK TO LANDA
COL.LANDA
I want my full military pension and
benefits under my proper rank.
I want to receive the congregational
medal of honor, for my invaluable
assistance in the toppling of the Third
Reich.
He looks over and sees Aldo and Uitvich watching the one sided
conversation.
COL.LANDA
In fact, I want all the members of
"Operation Kino" to receive the
congregational medal of honor. Full
citizenship for myself - but that
goes without saying. And I would
like the United States of America to
purchase property for me on
Nantuckett island, as a reward for
all the countless lives I've saved
by bringing the tyranny of the
National Socialist party to a
swifter then imanged end. Do you
have all that, sir?
(PAUSE)
I look forward to seeing you face to
face as well, sir.
(PAUSE)
He's right here.
The Colonel hands the headphones and microphone to Aldo.
LT.ALDO
Yes, sir?
We HEAR the VOICE on the other end of the radio, give Aldo his
ORDERS;
RADIO VOICE(OS)
Colonel Landa will put you and
Private Uitivich in a truck as
prisoners. Then he and his radio
operator, will get in the truck,
drive to our lines. Upon crossing
our lines, Colonel Landa and his
man will surrender to you. You will
then take over driving of the truck,
a bring them straight to me for
debriefing. Is that clear, Lieutenant?
LT.ALDO
Yes, sir.
The Conversation is over, he puts the radio down.
The three men look at one another.
Landa picks up his wine.
Ito .
COL.LANDA
So I suppose the only thing left to
do is lift a glass, and toast to
Donowitz and Hirschbergs success.
You too Herrman, come over here.
The four men, Col.Hans Landa, Lt.Aldo Raine, Pvt.Smithson
Uitivich, and Herrman, lift up four glasses of wine.
COL.LANDA
Gentlemen, To history, and it's
Witnesses.
CHEERS.
BACK TO THE PREMIERE
WE CUT TO THE B/W FILM ON SCREEN.
Fredrick Zoller, playing himself, is in a ornamental tower in
a Russian village, picking off RUSSIAN SOLDIER's below.
A RUSSIAN GENERAL KCHOVLANSKEY
peering at the German Private through binoculars. He lowers
the long range glasses, and confers with one of his OFFICERS.
GENERAL KCHOVLANSKEY
(RUSSIAN)
What's the death toll?
OFFICER
(RUSSIAN)
47, so far.
WE HEAR A SHOT.
OFFICER
(RUSSIAN)
48. General, I implore you, we must
destroy that tower!
GENERAL KCHOVLANSKEY
(RUSSIAN)
That tower is one of the oldest, and
most beautiful structures in Russia.
I won't be responsible for turning a
thousand years of history into dust!
A BRAVE RUSSIAN SOLDIER, tries to run between two buildings.
Zoller, gets him.
Then proceeds to pick him apart, one single bullet at a time.
IL
ISO.
SHOSANNA IN PROJECTION BOOTH
She removes "REEL 4" (The Special Shosanna Reel), and prepares
it on the 2nd Projector. Reel3, on the first Projector,
playing now, is halfway through. In a few short minutes, it's
going to be show time.
Marcel says to Shosanna in FRENCH, SUBTITLED in ENGLISH;
MARCEL
It's time. I should go lock the auditorium,
and take my place behind the screen.
This is the last time they will ever see each other, too much
to say. He holds her in his arms and lays a one kiss before I
die wet one on her.
DONOWITZ AND HIRSCHBERG
sit in their seats watching the movie, surrounded by DRESS
UNIFORM NAZI'S. They've developed a dopey way of communicating
with each other in this hostel environment.
Basically, speaking English like it were gibberish Italian.
They say English words, only adding a "I", or a "A", or a "O",
to the end of it. And saying it in a exaggerated Italian
accent, complete with pantomimes.
Donowitz leans into Hirschberg, and says in a wispier;
They speak in ITALIA-ISH SUBTITLED into ENGLISH;
SGT.DONOWITZ
(ITALIA-ISH)
I-a Go-a Toilet-a, Set-ta Boom-a.
(I go to the toilet and set the bomb)
When-a I-a Go-a, you-a Set-ta Boom-a.
(When I go, you set your bomb)
Hirschberg indicates/pantomimes, he can't set his bomb
surrounded by all these Nazi's.
Donowitz, pantomimes crossing his legs, setting bomb on ankle
in his seat. Then getting up, and dropping it in the back of
the auditorium, in the dark.
Hirschberg doesn't get it.
HIRSCHBERG
What-a?
(What?)
Donny pantomimes again, more exaggerated, and with less
patience.
HIRSCHBERG
Affirm-ato, affirm-ato.
(Affirmative, affirmative)
SGT.DONOWITZ
They-o Look-o Screen-a, Not-o You-a.
(They're looking at the screen, not you.)
HIRSCHBERG
Fantastic-o.
(FANTASTIC)
SGT.DONOWITZ
After-teri, Set-ta, Five-o Moment-o
(Pointing to
WATCH)
You-a, Pphisst.
(After you set the bomb, wait five
minutes, and get out of here)
HIRSCHBERG
What-o?
(What?)
SGT.DONOWITZ
Confuse-i, confuss-i, confuss-i.
(Confused, confused, confused.)
What-a, and-o what-o, same-o?
(I thought "What-a" meat "What",
does "What-O" mean "What", as well?)
HIRSCHBERG
Oh-o, sorr-o, I-o ment-a "What-a".
(Oh, sorry, I ment what.)
SGT.DONOWITZ
After-teri, you-a set-ta boom-a,
five-o moment-o, you-a, fuck-o Pphisst.
(After you set the bomb, wait five
minutes and get the fuck out of here.)
HIRSCHBERG
Affirm-ato, affirm-ato.
(Affirmative, Affirmative)
SGT.DONOWITZ
Good-a, Luck-a.
(Good luck.)
Donowitz stands from his seat, and walks out of the dark
auditorium, into the lobby. The Nazi Guards/Ushers are gone,
the lobby is completely empty. Seeing the STAIRS leading down
to the WATER CLOSET/BATHROOM, he descends them to plant
the Boom-a, I mean, The Bomb.
DESCENDING THE STAIRS
leading to the Water closet. Like a lot of old cinema's, not
only was the water closet located under the auditorium, you
had to pass through a rather large SMOKING LOUNGE to get to
it. In the Smoking Lounge are TEN NAZI ENLISTED MEN, the
Guards/Ushers for the event, smoking and indulging in soldiers
gossip. They're all in dress uniforms, and all are armed.
Donowitz, in his tuxedo, acts cool, and walks right through
them.
They look up, but don't disturb there time off vibe.
Donny enters the big Water Closet. Except for ONE LONE NAZI
ENLISTED MAN at the urinal, it would appear as if
Donny has the whole wash room to himself.
He enters the privacy of a toilet stall, locks the door.
MARCEL IN LOBBY
He descends the stairs leading down from the projection booth,
into the empty lobby. He goes to one of the auditorium doors,
and peers inside.
WE SEE THE SCREEN AND THE AUDIENCE FROM MARCELS POV:
in the back of the room. The audience seems riveted to
Fredrick's exploits on screen.
Marcel closes the door, and with a KEY, DEADBOLTS it SHUT.
INSIDE THE AUDITORIUM
WE PAN OFF THE SCREEN to Marcel, who locks the two doors on
ether side of the screen....due to curtains placed there, no
one notices Marcels actions.
Marcel then goes BEHIND THE SCREEN, WE SEE the IMAGE
(backward) of Fredricks sniper battle HUGE COVERING ENTIRE
SIDE ROOM ...A PILE of over300nitrate FILM PRINTS, lay like a
junk pile, right behind the screen.
Sitting down in a wooden chair facing the screen, and
Pile-o-film, he lights up a cigarette, a absolute no-no in a
cinema of this era, but tonight, what does it matter?4.
He smokes, and waits for his cue to... .BURN IT DOWN!
FREDRICK IN OPERA BOX
along side Hitler, Goebbels, Francesca, and BOORMAN. On screen
the battle rages. He leans over and whispers something in
Goebbels ear, we can't hear. Goebbels makes a very sympathetic
face (at least sympathetic for Goebbels), and says in German;
GOEBBELS
Perfectly understandable, dear boy.
You go now, and we'll see you after
the show.
He exits the opera box. And walks to the projection booth
door. He raps on the door in a trying to be amusing way.
The door opens, just a little bit, Shosanna not friendly,
stares at him.
Be, as per usual, is all smiles and charm.
They speak in FRENCH, SUBTITLED into ENGLISH;
FREDRICK
Are you the manager, of this cinema?
I want my money back. That actor in
the movie stinks.
He laughs.
IV
She doesn't even smile. She says, in all serious business;
SHOSANNA
What are you doing here?
FREDRICK
I came to visit you.
SHOSANNA
Can't you see how busy I am?
FREDRICK
Then allow me to lend a assist.
SHOSANNA
Fredrick it's not funny, you can't
be here. This is your premiere, you
need to be out there with them.
As Fredrick prepares to tell his little tale, with all the
charm at his command, Shosanna listens, knowing the third reel
is just about over, and her big reel change is coming up.
FREDRICK
Normally, you would be.right.
And for all the other films I do,
I intend to endure evenings like
tonight, in the proper sprit.
However the fact remains, this film,
is based on my military exploits.
And in this case, my exploits
consisted of me killing many men.
Consequently, the part of the film
that's playing now,... .I don't like
watching this part.
SHOSANNA
Fredrick, I am sorry, but -
FREDRICK
- So, I thought, I'd come up here
and do what I do best, annoy you.
And from the look on your face, it
would appear I haven't lost my touch.
DONNY IN TOILET
Sgt.Donowitz, with BOMB in his lap, sets the timer, six
minutes from now. He then places the bomb in the back of the
toilet tank.
CAMERA ON FLOOR OF WATER CLOSET
we see the tile of the floor stretch out before us. We see
Donny's feet in the closed toilet stall. We HEAR, the OFF
SCREEN Nazi Enlisted Man, finish his piss. Then HIS SHOES WALK
THROUGH FRAME... .WE FOLLOW THEM TO... .The SINK...WE STAY ON
The Shoes ...as WE HEAR The Soldier WASH HIS HANDS... THEN...
THE CAMERA RISES UP HIS PANT LEG...Till...WE"RE EYE LEVEL with
the German Soldier, with a ARMY CAP on his head, who's
done washing his hands....THEN....The Soldier removes
his cap, brushes some bangs out of his face, and WE CAN SEE
THE SWASTIKA HAND CARVED INTO HIS FOREHEAD, UNDENIABLE MARK
OF THE BASTARDS. He SPLASHES some WATER ON HIS FACE, puts his
cap back on his head, and joins his comrades in the smoking
lounge. As he exits FRAME, he says to somebody OFF SCREEN;
SWASTIKA FOREHEAD
(GERMAN)
Hey Fritz, you owe me three cigarettes,
now pay up.
SHOSANNA AND FREDRICK
Fredrick still outside the doorway, and Shosanna, still baring
the way.
SHOSANNA
I have to get prepared for the reel
change.
FREDRICK
Let me do it?
SHOSANNA
No.
FREDRICK
Oh please, it's been two years since
i've done a reel change.
SHOSANNA
I said, no.
FREDRICK
(Cute whine)
Come on, it's my premiere.
SHOSANNA
Are you so use to the Nazi's kissing
your ass, you've forgotten what the
word,°°No" means? No Fredrick, you
can't come in here, now go away!
No subtitles for Fredrick needed this time, he gets it.
He does a one-armed PILE DRIVE PUSH on the door, knocking both
it OPEN, and Shosanna back into the room.
Fredrick, a different cat then we've seen up till now, enters
the booth, closing the door behind him, and LOCKING it.
The quite startled Shosanna, says to Fredrick;
SHOSANNA
Fredrick, you hurt me.
FREDRICK
Well, it's nice to know you can feel
something. Even if it's just physical
pain.
Fredrick steps forward...
Shosanna steps backwards...
FREDRICK
I'm not a man you say, "Go away"
to. There's over three hundred
dead bodies in Russia, that if
they could, would testify to that.
After what I've done for you, you
disrespect me at your peril.
BACK TO WASHROOM
The Swastika Forehead Soldier, get a light for his cigarette.
He takes a big drag.
SOLDIER'S POV:
He faces the washroom, and down that long throw, he sees Donny
emerge from the toilet stall. His tuxedo jacket is off, and
draped over his right hand. Sporting the white dress shirt,
and black tuxedo vest. He's quite far away, so now he just
looks like some guy in a tux, who just finished taking a shit.
Donny walks toward us ...
CU SWASTIKA FOREHEAD
seeing him get closer...
SOLDIER POV:
Donny gets closer...
CU SWASTIKA FOREHEAD
seeing him closer still...
SOLDIER POV:
Donny gets closer...
CU SWASTIKA FOREHEAD
begins to notice...
SOLDIER POV:
Donny getting closer, begins to notice, German soldier notice
him...
CU SWASTIKA FOREHEAD
now Donny is close enough for the Soldier to recognize. His
face SCREAMS;
SWASTIKA FOREHEAD
The Bear Jew!1!
The Soldier's GUN is out of it's holster, and rising toward
Donny's chest...
WHEN...
Donny raises his right arm, with the tuxedo jacket on it, and
FIRES a GUN concealed under it.
HITTING Swastika Forehead in the chest...Who finishes raising
his GUN, FIRING HITTING Donny in the chest...
The Two Soldier's FIRE INTO each other.... Till there weapons are
empty, and the two men lie dead on the floor.
The Nine other NAZI'S in the room, stand shocked at what just
happened in front of them.
Is".
SHOSANNA AND FREDRICK IN PROJECTION BOOTH
Fredrick hears the gunshots below them, and turns towards the
door.
FREDRICK
What the hell was that?
While Fredrick's back is turned, Shosanna takes a GUN out of
her pocket, and SHOOTS Fredrick THREE TIMES in the back...
..Be CRASHES HARD into the door, then FALLING FACE FIRST to
the floor...
Shosanna, gun in hand, looks out projection booth window into
the audience...
The ON SCREEN BATTLE rages so LOUDLY with GUNFIRE, that her
weapon didn't stand a chance of being heard.
Her eyes go from the audience...
.up to the big screen...
.Which holds FREDRICK ZOLLER in a tight handsome CLOSE UP.
The Face on the silver screen, breaks the young girl's
heart...
.She looks to his body, lying face down on the floor, blood
flowing from the holes she put in his back...
.His body moves a little, and he lets out a painful MOAN...
.DIEING though he is, at this moment, Fredrick is still
ALIVE...
Shosanna moves to him...
..She touches him, and he lets out another MOAN...
.She turns his body over on it's back...
..he's holding a LUGER in his hand...
.he FIRES TWICE...
BANG BANG
Two bullets HIT HER POINT BLANK IN THE CHEST...
THROWING HER against the wall, then FALLING FORWARD on her
knees to the floor...
..Fredrick, Luger still in hand, takes aim from the floor...
I,
.FIRES...
HITTING the bloody girl on the floor, in the thigh...
.SPINNING her BODY around in agony...
Like he did to the Russian on screen, he picks her apart, one
bullet at a time...
.FIRES...
BULLET BLOWS OFF HEEL OF HER FOOT...
Luger drops to floor, Fredrick DIES.
Our young French Jewish heroine, lies on the projection booth
floor, in a pool of her own blood, her body RIDDLED with
bullets, her nerve endings wracked with pain, CRIPPLED and
DIEING...
WHEN...
..the little bell on the 1st projector, starts to ring,
informing the projectionist, it's time for The REEL CHANGE.
Dieing or not, if Shosanna intends to get her revenge, she's
going to have to lift her ass off the floor, and execute this
fucking reel change.
CINEMA AUDITORIUM
The battle on screen continues waging. The audience is
riveted.
The FUHRER
watches, completely caught up in the dramatic spectacle.
He says to Goebbels in German;
HITLER
Extraordinary Joseph, simply
extraordinary. This is your finest
film yet.
Goebbels is beyond proud, he smiles to Francesca, who proudly
pats his hand.
PROJECTION BOOTH
Shosanna, bloody, crippled, and fucked, with great painful
effort, PULLS HERSELF OFF THE FLOOR...
AUDITORIUM
Hirschberg, sitting in his seat, SETS the BOMB on his ankle.
Then stands up, and begins scooting past everybody in his rows
knees.
PROJECTION BOOTH
like the German heroine in one of Riefenstahl's mountain films,
Shosanna CLIMBS UP the 35mm film projector, like it was
Piz Palu...
FILM ON SCREEN
Private Zoller FIRING away from his perch. In the top far
right corner of The FRAME. WE SEE the 1st REEL CHANGE MARK...
PROJECTION BOOTH
Shosanna hanging on to projector, waiting for 2nd reel change
mark, it's a agonizing effort...
BEHIND SCREEN
Marcel, smoking, waiting for his cue...
HIRSCHBERG
get out of his xow, and begins walking up the aisle in the
middle of the cinema towards the exit.
ON SCREEN
SERGIO LEONE CU FREDRICK, he SCREAMS to Russians below;
MOVIE ZOLLER
Who wants to send a message to
Germany?
In the top right of FRAME The 2nd REEL CHANGE MARK POPS ON...
PROJECTION BOOTH
Shosanna TOSSES herself to the floor, as she THROWS THE CHANGE
OVER SWITCH on the 2nd Projector...
EX CU PROJECTOR BULB
BLASTING WHITE in our face.
SLOW NOTION
SHOSANNA FALLING...
EX CU 35MM FILM
MOVING...
SHOSANNA
HITS the DUSTY ground HARD, NOT in slow motion...
PROJECTOR BEAM
SHOOTS OUT OF LITTLE PROJECTION BOOTH WINDOW
hits screen.
CU SHOSANNA
on floor, eyes close, last breath blown into dusty projection
booth floor. Like her family befor her, dead from Nazi
bullets.
AUDITORIUM
ON THE SILVER SCREEN FREDRICKS EX CU
CUT TO
ON SILVER SCREEN MATCHING SHOSANNA EX CU
CAMERA in the exact same placement, same background (b/w sky),
SLIGHT LOW ANGLE LOOKING UP, so on screen Shosanna is looking
down on the Nazi's, the way Fredrick was looking down on the
Russians. The way this HUGE IMAGE OF SHOSANNA'S GIANT FACE stares
down the auditorium of Nazi's, brings to mind Orwells "1984"
Big Brother.
HITLER and GOEBBELS
React.
HIRSCHBERG
standing in the middle of the aisle, turns towards the screen.
When he see's Shosanna's GIANT FACE, he's gobsmacked.
BEHIND SCREEN
Marcel sitting in the chair, with his cigarette, before the
EVEN MORE GIANT FACE OF SHOSANNA.
SHOSANNAS GIANT FACE ON SCREEN
She stares down the packed house of Nazi's, and says
in FRENCH;
SHOSANNAS GIANT FACE
I have a message for Germany. I'm
interrupting your Nazi propaganda
horse shit, to inform you despicable
German swine, that your all going to
die.
HITLER and GOEBBELS
react.
HIRSCHBERG
react.
MARCEL
smiles.
SHOSANNAS GIANT FACE
And I want you to look deep in the face
of The Jew who's going to do it.
AUDITORIUM AUDIENCE
While the shocked German audience is transfixed to thescreen,
behind the heads of most of them...
The BOMB Landa set in Hitlers and Goebbels opera box...
EXPLODES.
BLOWING TO SMITHEREENS, HITLER, FRANCESCA, BOORMAN, and
propelling GOEBBELS, still in his theatre seat, across the
auditorium, into the opposite wall, and taking out a portion
of the ceiling as well.
The crowd reacts...
The explosion causes the huge chandelier from Versailles, to
topple from it's jerry-rigged placement, and CRASH on to the
audience below...
ON SCREEN THE GIANT FACE OF SHOSANNA finishes her WAR CRY.
SHOSANNAS GIANT FACE
My name is Shosanna Dreyfus, and this is
the face of Jewish Vengeance! Marcel,
BURN IT DOWN!
BEHIND THE SCREEN
Marcel takes his cigarette, and FLICKS IT into the pile of
nitrate film.
ON SCREEN SHOSANNAS GIANT FACE LAUGHS MANIACALLY at the
scrambling little Nazi's, running in a panic, as FLAMES LIKE
OUT OF A GIANT BLAST FURNACE, BURST THROUGH SHOSANNAS FACE,
and CLIMB UP THE WALLS of the cinema.
The AUDIENCE
STAMPEDES towards the exits...
HIRSCHBERG
with bomb set on ankle, is caught in a massive Day of the
Locust SWARM OF BODIES...
People frantically pound on locked doors, trapping them to
there grizzly fate.
The FLAMES and FIRE spread through thr auditorium...
Hirschberg caught in people crunch, knows this is it.
HIS ANKLE BOMB GOES OFF
right underneath everybody in the room.
The effect this has on the people in the room, is very similar
to that of the effect a M-80blowing up in a ant hill, would
have on the ants. The auditorium is a literal red rain of legs,
arms, heads, torsos, and asses.
THEN...
DONOWITZ TOILET BOMB
BLOWS UP UNDERNEATH the auditorium.
COLLAPSING THE CINEMA, AND BLOWING OUT THE FRONT OF THE
THEATRE.
As MADAM MIMEUX'S CINEMA BURNS...
Theses SUBTITLES APPEAR ON SCREEN as if on a military
TELETYPE:
"OPERATION KINO A COMPLETE SUCCESS".
FADE OUT
FADE UP
"HITLER DEAD. GOEBBELS DEAD. BOORMAN DEAD.
GERING DEAD. ZOLLER DEAD. MOST OF HIGH COMMAND
DEAD"
FADE OUT
FADE IN
"FOUR DAYS LATER, GERMANY SURRENDERS"
FADE OUT
FADE IN
"ONCE UPON A TIME IN NAZI...
OCCUPIED FRANCE".
CUT TO
EXT -- WOODS - MORNING
It's a misty early morning, in the woodsy area. The German
truck, with Aldo and Uitvich in the back, and Landa and
Herrman in the front comes to stop.
LANDA and HERRMAN IN TRUCK CAB
Herrman, behind the wheel, tells Landa in German;
HERRMAN
These are the American lines, sir.
In the back of the truck, sit the two last remaining members
of The Basterds, Lt.Aldo Raine, and Prvt.Smithson Uitivich,
both with their hands cuffed behind there back.
Landa and Herrman appear at truck rear, says in ENGLISH;
COL.LANDA
Okay Gentlemen, you can climb down.
143
Aldo and Uitivich climb down from the truck.
Col.Landa indicates for Herrman to remove the handcuffs from
the two prisoners.
He does.
COL.LANDA
Herrman, hand them your weapon.
He does.
Col.Landa hands over his LUGER, and his very cool looking SS
DAGGER.
COL.LANDA
I am officially surrendering myself
over to you, Lt.Raine. We are your
prisoners.
LT.ALDO
Thank you very much Colonel. Uitivich,
cuff the Colonel's hands behind his
back.
COL.LANDA
Is that really necessary?
As Uitivich cuffs the. Colonels hands behind his back, Aldo
SAYS;
LT.ALDO
I'm a slave to appearances.
Then Aldo takes the Luger, and SHOOTS HERRMAN DEAD.
The bound Col.Landa is appalled.
COL.LANDA
Are you mad? What have you done? I made
a deal with your General for that mans
life!
LT. ALDO
Yeah, they made that deal, but they
don't give a fuck about him, they
need you.
COL.LANDA
You'll be shot for this.
LT.ALDO
Raw I don't think so, more like I'll
be chewed out. I've been chewed out
before. You know, Uitvich and myself,
heard that deal you made with the Brass.
End the war tonight? I'd make that deal.
How bout you Uitivich, you make that
deal?
UITIVICH
I'd make that deal.
LT.ALDO
I don't blame ya. Damn good deal.
And that pretty little nest ya
feathered for yourself. Well, if
your willing to barbecue the whole
high command, I suppose that's worth
certain considerations. Now I don't
care about you gettin pensions,
merit badges, ticker tape parades,
who gives a damn, let's all go home.
But .1do have one question?
When you go to your little place on
Nantuckett Island, I image you gonna
take off that handsome looking SS
uniform of yours, ain't ya?
For the first time in the movie, Col.Landa doesn't-respond.
LT.ALDO
That's what I thought. Now that...
.I can't abide. How bout you
Uitivich, can you abide it?
UITIVICH
Not one damn bit, sir.
LT.ALDO
I mean if I had my way, you'd wear
that goddamn uniform for the rest of
your pecker suckin life. But I'm
aware that's ain't practical. I mean
at some point ya gotta hafta take it
off.
He opens LandaSS DAGGER, and holds the BLADE in front of Hans
face.
LT.ALDO
So I'm gonna give you a little
somethin you can't take off.
CUT TO
16c.
CU COL.LANDA
The Dagger has just completed carving a swastika deep into his
forehead.
COL.LANDA'S POV:
On the ground, looking up at Aldo, bloody knife in hand, who
straddles him.. And Uitivich, who's next to him. The two
Basterds admire Aldo's handiwork.
LT.ALDO
You know somethin Uitivich, I think
this just might be my masterpiece.
END
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